A Parents Guide to Children's Weight
 

Weight is one of the many personal characteristics that
distinguish children from each other.  It has implications
for both the physical and mental health of the child.
Unfortunately, it also has the potential for causing many
parent-child disagreements about what is or is not eaten and
in what amounts.

What is the "Right" Weight for My Child?

It's natural for parents to want their children to be as
perfect as possible.  When it comes to weight, however,
"perfect" must be broadly and individually defined--a task
that's often hard in our thin-conscious society.  Children
grow at different rates and may have different body
structures from their siblings and playmates.  Standardized
growth charts plot height and weight of boys and girls at
different ages and can be used in consultation with a
pediatrician in determining a child's recommended weight
range.

What Can Parents Do to Help a Child Who Is Medically Defined
as Overweight or Obese?

Beyond reassuring the child of parental love regardless of
the child's weight, the appropriate parental action depends
on whether only the child or the whole family has a weight
problem.  If the whole family needs to change some eating
and exercising habits, then the parent and child need to
work together to initiate and plan those changes for
everyone's benefit.

For example, many social traditions are related to food and
eating, such as giving food as a reward for completing a
task, as a sympathetic gesture to ease hurt feelings, or as
a cure for boredom.  These habits may lead the child to
expect food in these situations, regardless of any feelings
of hunger.  By helping the child learn that such behavior is
occasionally--but not always--permissible, the child may
avoid forming some of the dependent habits that can cause
later weight problems.

If the child is the only family member to have a weight
problem, then other factors should be considered, for
example, possible medical problems or emotional stresses
than might influence a child's eating behavior.

How Can Parents Help an Underweight Child?

A child who is too thin needs the same emotional support as
one who is too heavy.  Discussing the size of the other
family members and visiting with a pediatrician can help put
the child's size into perspective and provide a basis for
reminding children that individuals grow at different rates.
Growing slowly is not bad.

However, whenever a child shows a sudden weight drop, other
medical or emotional problems can be suspected.
Professional help from a pediatrician, dietitian, or child
psychologist may be necessary.

What Can Parents Do to Help Children Reach and Maintain Their
Best Weight?

Parents and their care-giving substitutes, have three
responsibilities in feeding children.

1. Parents need to offer the child a variety of nutritious
foods at regular intervals.  Planned meals and snacks give
the child regular sources of energy, help the child to
develop sensible eating patterns, and encourage the child to
learn correct food behavior in social situations.  Studies
of overweight children incidate that those children who eat
regular meals control their weight more successfully.

2. Parents can help the child to learn to identify and pay
attention to feelings of hunger and fullness.  This starts
with learning to distinguish a baby's "I am hungry" cry from
other cries.  It means not forcing a toddler to eat one more
bite.  It means sometimes allowing second or third helpings
on some meal items.

3. Parents can demonstrate a healthy lifestyle.  Children
learn by example.  They are likely to want to do what
parents do, whether that's eating chips and watching
television or bicycling.

What Actions Should a Parent Avoid?

Since a parent's primary role is to give support, any action
that denies support should be avoided.  For example, when a
child is upset by playmates' teasing, a parent who responds
with, "when you get thinner they won't tease you anymore,"
only reinforces the child's suspicion that there is indeed
something wrong with him or her.  A more positive response
is for the parent to listen to the child express his or her
feelings about that teasing, and then perhaps, ask the child
if other children are getting teased and for what reason.
This can lead to a discussion of, "what do you think you can
do about this situation?"

Another way parents deny support is by treating the
overweight child differently from the rest of the family;
for instance by forcing the child to eat meals, desserts or
snacks that are different from what is served to the rest of
the family.

Likewise, putting children on a weight reduction diet is a
form of punishment that asks them to ignore feelings of
hunger and may lead them to believe there is truly something
wrong with themselves for wanting to eat more than their
parents want to give them.

How Can Parents Help Their Children Avoid Future Weight
Problems?

Prevention is the very best cure.  Ideally, parents help
their children learn to recognize their own feelings of
hunger and choose appropriate nutritious foods to satisfy
that hunger.  They also can help the child learn to see food
as only one of many possible ways to celebrate a happy
event, to ease disappointment, or to erase boredom.

Here are 7 specific actions parents can take to help their
children learn good eating habits.

1. Be enthusiastic about eating a variety of foods.  Help
children learn what foods are in the different food groups
and why it's important to eat some of each group daily.

2. Introduce new foods gradually. Offer the child a small
portion but do not force the child to eat it.  Tasting will
come more readily as the food becomes more familiar.

3. Plan and provide regular meals and snacks for the family.
Parents set a good example by practicing healthy eating
habits for themselves.  Mealtime should involve pleasant
conversation, not discussion of problems.

4. Serve realistic portions.  The appropriate serving size
depends on the child's age and size.  One possible guideline
is to offer 1 tablespoon of meat, fruit, and vegetable per
year of age up to age 5.  Physical activity and growth
spurts also influence appetite.  Plan meals to include some
lower calorie food items than can be offered for second
helpings.

5. Buy fewer high-calorie, low-nutrient foods.  Encourage
children to think of such foods as occasional treats, not
regular fare.  Involve children in planning, shopping, and
label-reading.

6. Avoid making nagging comments about a child's weight.
Children who are above or below their "right" weight need
emotional support.

7. Encourage family involvement in regular physical
activity.  Set an example by walking or biking instead of
driving, using stairs instead of the elevator, planning
week-end hikes or swimming outings or simply walking around
the block after dinner.

North Central Regional Extension Publication 374
ES-USDA
Revised 2/99